one quick thought to pen down -
my family loved me before anyone else, God aside. and even if i don't share much time with them, i know that my earthly home is made with them and no other. :)

things to be thankful for.

in the everyday madness i know as work, there's actually so much to be thankful for. it often gets overlooked when all you see is a pile of papers and a laptop in front of you, and all you think about is meeting the next deadline or completing the next task at hand.

it takes a for a doting Father to pour out little blessings on me to make me realise how very present He is in my life, and how I've forgotten Him in the midst of my own busyness. it's often the smallest of things which can be the most precious gifts He gives.

a tube of redoxon vitamin c tablets appearing on my desk the monday after a major event, when i was still suffering from acute post-event trauma, and the instruction to take one.

the most zany internship mate ever, who i've been driving insane and vice versa (or so i maintain).

web messenger so i can keep in touch with dear friends who are a few hundred miles away from me and whose morning is my afternoon.

the day off well-spent at the airport and then having fun with colleagues thereafter.

many little inane things to laugh and smile about in the midst of tying up all these post-event loose ends.

overlooked at first glance, but when considered carefully, indeed every good and perfect gift does come from heaven above.

i scare myself when i realize how much of a workaholic i can be.
this is not the way to live.

things need to change.
and in order to do so, my focus must shift.

"so i look to You, no one else will do."

three promises.

2009 is looking set to be a year marked with many changes.

for one, i'm not going back to school until august because i'm currently on an internship.
two of my closest friends are flying off for six-months on exchange programmes.
in august i will start my honours year in uni and gear up for graduation and working life.

but amongst all this, it's clear to me that my involvement in ministry for the year is to remain the same, and i am to give all i can offer to each ministry. He still wants me to pour my heart into serving and loving His people, whom He has placed in my care.

it's a really tall order, and i've spent time thinking about this lately, and my conclusion is that i'm afraid of stepping into the new year because i don't know whether or not i will be able to deal with the changes i am to face.

i know how the bible says that i don't need to be fearful or afraid of anything because God's with me, but despite that, i still find myself wondering how i'm going to make it through the year.

because you know, there is so much that could possibly go wrong. there are so many instances where i will let people down and disappoint them. that i will stumble and maybe stumble others. that i will not serve and love as Christ did. there are so many times that these will happen. so why bother, i thought. since i will never be of an appropriate standard, why even try?

but three promises He gave me in 2008, i bring into 2009 with me. it's a struggle to keep these at heart and always remember them, but the at the times i do, they will bring me assurance and encouragement to carry on for His glory.

"I am your strength."
child, trust in Me. I am your refuge in your every time of need, a strong and steady tower that doesn't falter. I do not fail. I will never abandon you, leave you alone, nor forsake you. I am stronger and mightier than anyone you ever placed your trust in. trust in Me and Me alone.

"I am in control."
I reign sovereign over all you know. I hold the universe, the stars and the galaxies high up above you in My hands. I oversee everything you know, and more. I know what's going to happen to you in the next second. I am in control of things. I will carry your burdens. with Me, you will soar on wings like eagles, higher than you could ever dream of soaring. stop holding back. hand over the reins.

"I made you,and love you and so you're enough."
I know you struggle with this feeling of not being good enough. did you know it breaks My heart to watch as you damage yourself emotionally and physically? do you not know how much I love you? I rescued you, I sent My Son to die for you. I created you with my own hands, fashioned you carefully while you were yet an embryo in your mother's womb. I have given you gifts and talents to use to bless others and communicate My love to them. don't doubt them because you doubt Me in doing so. I live in you, and so, you are enough to me. and that is all that matters.

it's still a daunting thought to enter the year. i don't know what lies ahead, and while in part i feel a little excited, i'm also worried and fearful about what will happen in the next 365 days. but one thing i know, when God makes a promise, He keeps it. just like how He showed noah that rainbow as a promise.

so i know He walks with me through the year. and if that is so, what is there left to fear?