i thought things were getting better. i thought i was moving on.

then the voices come back and haunt me. in my mind, all these events are replayed over and over, nonstop, in a loop. the irrational fear i harboured returns and grips me; and i asphyxiate.

all along i knew this would be a war. but a war worth fighting. what i didn't know, was how difficult it would be.

perhaps tomorrow morning, when i arise, You will arm me with the strength to face the mirror. the strength to take a good, long look at my face and realize that i am Your creation, that i am Your beloved.